Dedicated to Gwen Mitchell,
because some contest entries
are cruel and unusual punishment.
Baby, watching you chow down
On Ballpark franks just like a hog
Makes me think about your lips
Around my very own pulsing dog.
Hebrew National ain’t more kosher
Than the foot-long in my pants.
Hum the Oscar Mayer jingle
Cuz it makes my wienie dance.
Grab it at a street cart
On the go to get your fill
Or express your love of nature
In the yard on my barbecue grill.
Don’t mind mustard. Don’t mind chili.
Girl, I’m down if you wanna embellish.
You can even dip it in ketchup,
Just as long as you eat it with relish.
If you can’t afford no toppings,
Ain’t no need to pay a cent.
Don’t you worry cuz this sausage
Cums with its own condiment!
ROFLMAO. *wipes tears* You are like … scarily good at this.