A couple of things happen when someone utters the above question.
The first thing is that everybody in the vicinity will stop what they’re doing to help look for the missing booger, as if someone lost a contact lens. Or a child. Truly, it is a rallying cry for the civic-minded.
The second thing is that, if you happen to be in possession of food at the time of the aforementioned utterance, you will (a) reflexively examine your food, (b) discover any number of characteristics thereupon that could, with very little imagination (or even a negative quantity of imagination, in the case of oatmeal), be construed as boogerlike, and (c) lose your appetite for all food forever.
Because you can always count on me to turn booger-contaminated lemons into lemonade, keep an eye on the late-night infomercials for details regarding my revolutionary new weight loss system. For six convenient payments of only $19.95 (plus S&H), a specially trained LostBooger SlimQuik consultant will be delivered right to your door and stay by your side until you reach for something to stuff in your face, at which time a program customized to meet your personal needs will take effect. Options include The Sneeze™, The Dig-and-Flick™, The Hork-and-Spit™, and MANY MORE!
And I can GUARANTEE your complete satisfaction with my patent-pending LostBooger SlimQuik system because I’m not just the creator—I’m also a victim client.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:24 PM
Don’t forget the highly effective Old Man Crumb Spray. Speaking from personal experience, nothing has ever cured my appetite so completely. Plus! Bonus heavage cleans the pipes for anything you were silly enough to eat before the OMCS episode. It’s a two-fer!
October 21st, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Also works if you don’t want people touching your stuff. I’m certainly not handling anything in that room without gloves again.
*off to conspicuously place boogers on my pens, keyboard, and phone*