I’m not a fan of the new WordPress login screen, which SHAKES if you enter the wrong password.
A simple “wrong password, stupid” note is sufficient, WordPress. It’s completely unnecessary to bring it to my attention in a manner that suggests I’ve made some internet-shattering faux pas.
* * *
While watching a video of someone else playing a video game, my child stated, “I have transcended ordinary laziness. I am the messiah of laziness.”
Oh, no, dear one. I believe that title goes to the individual who had you recite a blow-by-blow account of the goings on because she was too lazy to get up to see for herself.
I win at lazy.
* * *
I did not realize that when I post a 3-5-10,000-word story update, the whole thing gets dumped into your feed reader (I always thought it cut off at the “read more” line), which makes it a little time-consuming to scroll past if you’re not interested.
Next time, I will use the “excerpt” feature and see if that works less obnoxiously.
Good thing I back-dated when I posted those 20-something chapters of everything-I’ve-ever-written recently.
Speaking of which…
* * *
I have a Bestest Buddy who is so concerned with recent career decisions I’ve made, she took it upon herself to contact Amazon and express those concerns in hopes that they would contact me and reassure me that I should be selling my stories, not devaluing myself by giving them away.
What my Bestest Buddy fails to realize is that I actually read every agreement I’m considering entering into and make sure I understand the terms before I agree to anything, and if I in any way question my understanding of the terms, I get in touch with the people who made them up and ask for clarification before I make any of my potentially career-destroying decisions, so that any such destruction is the result of the abject stupidity of the decision rather than an irresponsible contract violation.
Ergo, while it is indeed a contract violation to give away for free on a routine basis (as opposed to a special occasion such as a contest) any format of ebook for which there is a corresponding ebook for sale for a price on Amazon, the rights to the content remain mine to do with as I please (other than give away ebooks of it), so it really is okay for me to turn it into as many freakin’ blog posts as I want—cleared a couple months ago and confirmed again today.
But thank you, Bestest Buddy, for your concern. It makes me feel so gosh-darn important that you so often take time out of your busy life to make sure that mine is going according to plan—which it is, but you keep right on looking out for me, girl.
July 6th, 2010 at 8:04 PM
I said to myself, “Self, that last section is terribly immature. On the other hand, it DOES accomplish the purpose of reassuring everyone you’re within bounds, so it would just be a waste of time and energy to write something more appropriate to that effect.”
One of the many pitfalls of being lazy…
July 7th, 2010 at 1:04 AM
I’m not sure I need a Bestest Buddy like that.
Of course, I’m in the process of slowly extricating myself from a Bestest Buddy of my own right now (for gross neglect and for making me feel like suddenly I don’t measure up to her sparkalay new online friends) but I don’t feel like being in the market for a replacement any time soon. Why is it hard to find friendships where give and take are pretty much equal?
And that concludes my whining for this evening.
July 7th, 2010 at 4:22 AM
Forget slowly extricating. Use a Taser.
Not that, in my experience, anything is capable of keeping such a person away should they decide that a) they want something from you or b) they’re insulted that you fail to worship at the altar of their self-declared speshulness or c) you’ve committed the unforgivable sin of muddling along quite happily in their absence after you’ve scraped them off your shoe with a stick, but it will be therapeutic for YOU to watch them fall and spasm uncontrollably.
And it will always be hard for you to find friendships where give and take are pretty much equal because a) you’re not dependent on what anyone else has to give because you’re awesome all on your own and b) you have things/skills/ideas other people want to take because you’re so openly, in-your-face awesome.
So my second piece of sage advice (after the Taser) is: Be less awesome.
Or, if that proves impossible, you’re welcome to come sit with me in my dark little corner. It has a velvet rope, a bouncer built like a golem, a lava moat, and a squadron of black-ops wereplatypi to defend it against users and abusers. As well as a magically replenishing tray of lemon bars and a bottomless cup of peach tea with your name on it. And, on odd-numbered Tuesdays and Thursdays, Johnny Depp will join us between the hours of 8 and 11 p.m. (He feels an inexplicable affinity for the wereplatypi…)
July 7th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
You’ve just described HEAVEN! Peach tea, lemon bars, you, Johnny Depp, AND a lava moat? Where do I sign up?
You’re very sweet to say I’m awesome and I appreciate it. She did take a lot from me and then accused me of not giving enough when she wanted more and I dared to call her on the fact that her actions toward me barely qualified as friendship anymore. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and be super careful that I’m not making assumptions or failing to be understanding/compassionate, but I’ve reached the point where I’m just done. There’s a difference between being understanding and being a doormat and thankfully, I’m experienced enough to tell the difference. I have zero interest in being a doormat. Or being the one she calls on when she needs something her sparkalay new friends can’t provide.
It does make me want to crawl in a hole, sometimes, and tell myself I’m an idiot and the other shoe will always drop in my friendships once I get too relaxed and close to someone, but she doesn’t get the power to drive me into a depression. I’ll save that for stuff that truly matters. Like my family. Or a national shortage of lemons and Johnny Depp.
But, honestly, YOU are awesome. I’m so glad I know you. :) And so grateful you let me use your blog to vent.
July 7th, 2010 at 10:17 AM
Oh, for the love of Johnny, I just realized I should’ve done all this through email. *headdesk*
Also, I just tried to post this comment and got a nasty message from WordPress saying “You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”
Apparently, WordPress can’t keep up with the tornado of wordiness that is moi.
July 7th, 2010 at 10:20 AM
WordPress is a drama queen.
I’ve been extremely twitchy about people since the fun with Bestest Buddy began in April or thereabouts. I’ve pared down to about 4 people I THINK are pretty safe, and if one of them doesn’t talk to me for longer than a day (and I’m not aware of, say, a week of job-training prison being the cause of the silence), my assumption is SHE GOT TO YOU, DIDN’T SHE? And then I remind myself that anyone who believes her BS doesn’t know me at all anyway, so it’s no great loss, thus enabling me to play it cool and uncaring until it turns out the silence was for reasons having nothing to do with me and I’m just being paranoid.
And THEN I remind myself, it’s only paranoia if you’re wrong.
I don’t know about you, but I just want to hop in the hot tub time machine and go Tase every swell person who helped create my social point of view.
Though I imagine hopping in a hot tub with a Taser is probably not recommended…
July 7th, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Haha! Glad you kept the las part… that one was actually my fave. Congratulation to you on getting such a good buddy! …
Buddy gets loser badge!
July 7th, 2010 at 10:48 AM
Perhaps we should invent a hot tub safe taser! Not for mass market, of course. Just for US.
As for me being silent for more than a day … no one gets to me, baby! No one. In fact, if someone starts talking sh*t about a friend of mine, I cross the talker off the list of people I ever care to be around. No. Thank. You.
But I’m serious about the hot-tub-safe taser. *schemes* It’s really too bad I suck so totally at all things technological. BUT if you invent it, I can Bedazzle it! *is good for something*
July 7th, 2010 at 11:36 AM
I’m waiting for her show up and leave an “OMG who would do such a thing?” comment. She sure doesn’t want anybody who’ll see her here to know she’s not your chum when they’re not looking.
I suggest, again, that you break her email and URL when she comments and not allow her to use you to increase her google-fu on top of everything else.
Or better yet, cockblock her entirely. I know I make an unattractive face every time I see her here, so I can imagine how you must feel about it.
July 7th, 2010 at 12:12 PM
That falls under the headings of “making this more important than it is” and “descending to her level” and “making more work for my lazy self.”
Chill out, dude.