Kerry Allen's Blog

Oct 19 2007

Belated Thursday 13: 13 Things in Your Home that Reflect Who You Are

Tag: Tag me again and I'll cap you — Kerry Allen @ 1:00 am

Or, in my case, 13 Things in Your House that Expose Your Multiple Personality Disorder or 13 Things in Your House that Confuse the Hell Out of Unsuspecting Visitors.

1. Season 2 of Robot Chicken waiting to be returned to Netflix. 

2. Monet prints on the living room walls.

3. Nine Inch Nails and Kelly Clarkson on rotation in the CD changer.

4. Romance novels stuffed onto shelves, stacked in precarious towers, and otherwise occupying the majority of horizontal surfaces.

5. Other kinds of novels and nonfiction (The Ultimate Guide to Guns, Poisons, Pointy Things, and Bombs) stuffed onto shelves, stacked in precarious towers, and otherwise occupying the majority of horizontal surfaces.

6. Five computers and a wealth of associated peripherals (although the overpriced Dell XPS, which stands for Xtreme Piece of Sh!t, is strictly for batting practice).

7. A gilt-framed, pink-matted print, handed down from my mother and her mother before her, depicting three poofy-dress-era women, one at the pianoforte, one at the harp, one enjoying their little concert. (I wouldn’t read the book, but damn, I love the picture.)

8. All the good episodes of Bleach on TiVo. (Renji better not be dead, you doily-headed m*#%&r f#*%&r, or I will see you in fanfic with your new cell mates, who do not believe in lube!) (Despite assuring my child that nobody important ever dies on Bleach, I was screaming at the television when my darling Renji collapsed the final time. Who’s next, 69 Guy? Just rip my heart out, why dontcha?)

9. A fan in every room for those days the air conditioner just can’t keep up with my hot flashes.

10. A notebook in every room because I forget things if I don’t write them down NOW. (Although I can never seem to find a pen…)

11. Collection of high-end fountain pens in an equally high-end display case. (Can’t have them out for use in the presence of a kid known to grind through solid wood with the pressure she puts on a writing implement. Oh, my poor precious nibs!)

12. Dust. Lots and lots of dust.

13. Lots and lots of video games, ranging from Barbie Horse Adventures to Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. (Guess which one I’ve played all the way through?)

Ergo, my reflection is that of a 12-year-old boy/middle-aged woman with simultaneously refined and frat-boy sensibilities, as well as memory and housekeeping deficiencies.

Yup, that’s pretty accurate.

Are you schizo, too, or does your environment reflect a sane, integrated personality?

2 Responses to “Belated Thursday 13: 13 Things in Your Home that Reflect Who You Are”

  1. Kimberly Anne is SO pretty.
    October 19th, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    Lessee.

    -A framed poster of the Greek gods Echo and Narcissus above my computer (no one ever seems to get why I think that’s funny)

    -3 different game consoles piled by the TV, with Hitman 2, Oblivion, and Viva Pinata on top of the TV

    -Sherlock Holmes and the Kama Sutra snuggled together on a shelf

    -A nearly finished crocheted shawl

    -The Romance Novel set of Magnetic Poetry on the fridge (Admit it, you’re jealous. I have the words “turgid pleasure rod” and “quivering flesh” to ogle when I get ice cream!)

    Yep, I am both sane and integrated!

  2. Kerry Allen is SO pretty.
    October 20th, 2007 at 11:51 am

    Blessings of Akatosh upon you! Have some skooma!

    I am SO jealous. I have to get some of those magnets, if only to keep the bottomless pits that call themselves my friends (guys, every one) from eating all my popsicles. I’m sure a “turgid pleasure rod” staring back at them would cause most of them to lose their appetites, at least for foods that need to be sucked on!

    (I preordered Assassin’s Creed. That’s going to be so badass…)

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