Oct 26 2007
RP: Mirror, mirror, on the wall
No.
No.
No, you did not just make that character look in a mirror and describe herself.
*sigh* Yeah, you did.
I have never read a book in which a character’s appearance was of such crucial significance that I couldn’t wait for it to come up naturally in the narrative. Her “thick, auburn mane” can be blowing wildly in the wind. He can have a premonition of dread when she turns her “heavily lashed eyes of guileless sapphire” upon him. There are a million ways to convey that information, some better than others, none as godawful as the hold-up-while-I-admire-my-reflection method.
(Have you noticed the dramatic increase in Reader Peeves lately? That happens when I’ve had things out on submission for a loooooooooooong time. The thought process is something like, “Hey, person with my manuscript on your desk, my writing might be crap, but you gotta give me credit for not doing stupid shit like this.” It doesn’t make me feel better—worse, actually, since the stupid shit in question made it into print while my uppity, superior ass languishes in anonymity—but I find it nicely rounds out the cycle of self-flagellation.)
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11/4
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11/25
October 26th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Oh, yeah. [facepalm] Mirror scenes suck. I mean, OK, they were probably sort of acceptable and maybe even a tiny bit clever the first time or two a mirror was used to convey a character’s appearance to the reader, but after that? Forget it.
Another one I hate is the disingenuous protag who believes she’s incredibly plain if not actually ugly, and describes herself to “prove” to the reader what a dog she is. But of course, going by the description, the reader actually knows that this chick is a twelve on the ten scale and that gorgeous guys are going to be chartering flights (or coaches) to come swarm around her as soon as she sets a foot out in public.
Puh-leeze. :/
The fact that this is usually done in first person narratives, which are their own pit of voles just waiting to turn on their creator, makes it that much worse — not only do I hate this twit, but I’m actually in her head so I can smack her face from the inside. :P
The whole Physical Description thing is overvalued anyway. I’ve been thinking of doing a column on it for RtB, ’cause seriously, how much do we even care?
Angie
October 29th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
LOL! That always cracks me up.
She looked at herself in the mirror and wanted to cry — no man would ever look twice at her! Her lips were too full and her cheekbones too high. Her breasts could have filled a bucket (one of the KFC 10-piece meal buckets, not just a little sandcastle bucket) and her legs were far too long and smooth. Her hair was too long and thick. What man wanted to be wrapped in silky tresses? Certainly, only a gorilla wanted a mate so hairy.
I’m such a freak, she sobbed!
October 29th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Uh oh. I just realized that I do have a mirror scene in the next book. :shock: She’s about the meet the hero, runs to check herself in the mirror, and describes herself:
Jesus, the bruise made her look like a hooker who’d been slapped by her pimp.
:lol:
October 29th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Puh-lease, Meljean, as if you would do anything so gauche as what I had in mind. The hooker bruise is not what I’m talking about. I’m not even talking about checking the visor mirror to make sure there’s no lipstick on her teeth or spinach stuck between them, or a double-take in a store window when her butt looks bigger than she thought it was—all fairly legitimate reasons to look at oneself.
I’m talking about the check-myself-out-for-no-reason, examine-every-feature-with-a-microscope-as-if-I’ve-never-seen-my-face-before thing. Who does that kind of evaluation when they look in a mirror? Even when I put my makeup on, I’m looking at the makeup, not my damn bone structure!
Now, if you want a good mirror story… I woke up Sunday, took the dog outside, got the paper, said hi to the neighbors, got breakfast started, then finally meandered into the bathroom, did bathroom things, washed and dried my hands, reached for the door of the medicine cabinet to get my contact lenses, and ONLY THEN did I glance in the mirror, at which time I SCREAMED because I had these enormously puffy, flaming red eyelids (like a demonic raccoon). (Allergic reaction to something I ate Saturday, or possibly something that ate me—I got chewed to bits by bugs.) I admit, I spent some time gawking at myself that time, but my attention never drifted to my cute button nose or my lush lips or the dainty shell of my ear.
If there’s going to be mirror studying, there better be something freakish to look at!
November 5th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
HYPOCRITE ALERT!
It was pointed out to me by one of those people I keep around for some unfathomable reason that I have a mirror scene in my finished manuscript and another one on the VERY FIRST PAGE of the WIP.
The defense would like to clarify that in Instance A, the heroine is being, erm, romanced over the bathroom sink, so there’s no avoiding the mirror six inches in front of her nose, and she’s looking at the guy behind her, not at her own pointy chin and midnight-blue eyes and pert pleasure nubs and whatnot.
The defense further submits that Instance B is contact lens related, and the character’s sole self-description involves eye irritation—not the shape, color, length of lashes, depth of laugh lines or any of that other crap—just irritated.
But so help me god, after this, mirrors are not going to exist in Storyland.