Kerry Allen's Blog

Jan 01 2008

New Year’s Irresolutions

Tag: Self-indulgence — Kerry Allen @ 1:00 am

There is one certainty regarding any formal declaration I make regarding New Year’s goals: I WON’T DO THEM. There has never been a resolution to which I have adhered. For the past few years, I have opted not to set myself up for failure by not stating any aims, ambitious or otherwise, to be accomplished during the subsequent 12 months.

This year, I’ve decided to let the New Year’s jinx do the work for me. Here’s my list for 2008.

1. I will not lose weight.

2. I will not maintain at least minimum standards of household cleanliness.

3. I will not finish my rewrites of Gabe and Jaz’s book.

4. I will not write at least the first draft of Ty and Kendall’s book.

5. I will not come up with better titles.

6. I will not submit to every agent on my list or keep an eye on the ones that haven’t been accepting new clients.

Experience tells me I’ll fail at every one of these by the third week in January without even trying. Damn, but it’s going to be a busy month…

What do you intend to accomplish (or not accomplish) in 2008? Have you ever had any success with the whole NY’s resolution system, or, like me, do you find it merely an enumerated list of failings at the end of the year?

4 Responses to “New Year’s Irresolutions”

  1. lisabea is SO pretty.
    January 1st, 2008 at 7:11 pm

    Kerry! Happy New Year

    6 years ago I decided to learn/do/go something/somewhere new every year. Do something possitive before I get to old to enjoy myself. So: I learned to ski, I took iceskating lessons, I learned to properly swim laps (adult swim. heh), I went to Scotland with my college roommate…etc…I hate resolutions that force you to be unhappy. WTF? I now do something to make me happy. This year? I’m having a breast reduction. Holy shit. In two weeks. This one has me nervous…but I am resolved to make a possitive change.

    Go for the good stuff. I may weigh slightly more than I did 10 years ago and, uh, that book is never going to get written, but, dude, I ski like nobodies business.

  2. lisabea is SO pretty.
    January 1st, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Can’t spell for shit though

  3. Kerry Allen is SO pretty.
    January 2nd, 2008 at 12:02 am

    (Stop me if you’ve heard this one.) “Is there something you’d like to get off your chest?”

    Gack. That was awful. :oops:

    Good luck. I’m sending you happy thoughts for a textbook surgery, a speedy recovery, an excellent cosmetic result, good painkillers, and many years of perkiness and regal posture in the future.

    I had a mole cut off many years ago, got ONE STITCH, and decided the only way I was going under the knife again was if I was unconscious and someone made the decision for me.

    The bizarre thing is, it’s not the potential complications of surgery and the postop pain. (Vicodin, my love!) It’s the stitches themselves. They creep me out.

    I could have actually had free carpal tunnel release by a neurosurgeon I worked for. No. No and no again, just on the basis of the stitches.

    (And that’s not even touching my issues about my wrists. Which are not to be touched. By anyone. Ever. I swear, in a past life… *shudder*)

  4. lisabea is SO pretty.
    January 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 am

    The entire process skeeves me, but if I don’t do something I swear I’m going to be a hunch back by 50. So, after the surgery (can you HEAR my knees knocking?) I’m starting yoga to stretch my neck, back and shoulders. Any woman who opts for a surgical double d should try to run a mile with them. After nursing 3 children. Not a good time.

    My husband continues to weep into his hanky.

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