Feb 15 2008
Besides which, I enjoy the occasional banana
WARNING: Many mixed metaphors ahead. Proceed at your own risk.
Maybe it’s just me, but the insistence that I don’t know what I really want to read—that I’m on some merry-go-round of crap reading because publishers print only crap so readers have only crap to buy so publishers continue to print the crap because that’s what sells—really pisses me off.
Look, I understand that you may be dissatisfied with the books you’re reading, but don’t try to drag me into that boat with you. I’m not drowning here; I’m swimming quite contentedly, as a matter of fact. I really, truly, genuinely enjoy many of those books that dissatisfy you and really, truly, genuinely buy them on purpose, not because I’ve been brainwashed into thinking that’s what I want.
Yes, I get the occasional wallbanger, but I lack your sense of entitlement that the entire publishing industry should revolve around my needs. When I get the occasional Peanut M&M that tastes like a dirty sweatsock, I bleh and scarf down more to get the nasty taste out of my mouth, whereas you probably advocate forsaking Peanut M&Ms altogether.
You do that. I’ll eat your share.
And Ye Olde Banana Analogy you think supports your “you don’t know what you want” theory?
“If the grocery store sells nothing but bananas, you have no choice but to buy bananas.”
Not helping your cause. Because, you see, I do have a choice. There’s another grocery store with a wider selection down the road, and then there’s the farmer’s market and also online shopping, where the food is packed fresh and delivered right to my door, not to mention digital foodstuffs if I have a craving for something really exotic. If the Banana Grocer doesn’t sell a shitload of bananas, they’ll be forced to expand their stock if they want to compete and stay in business.
But maybe they’re catering to a niche market of banana addicts you know nothing about, banana hater. There are people who do like bananas, regardless of how offensive you may find them.
I’m not wild about bananas straight from the skin, but I’m quite fond of them in banana nut bread, banana splits, and Bananas Foster.
I do not want to live in a world without Bananas Foster.
You have every right to despise bananas, but enough with trying to convince the rest of the world bananas are the root of all evil. Face the fact that pomegranate fetishists are a minority and might have to drive that extra mile to get what they want.
Myself, I’m violently allergic to pomegranates, so I’ll be at the Banana Store, stocking up.
Dessert at my place later.
9/30
11/4
11/4
11/25
February 15th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Yay, the banana rant goes public!!
I tried the “pomegranate” mentioned by the complainant. The cover (skin? heh, LOTS of skin actually) was the only part I liked. I needed a banana to cleanse my palate.
Why don’t you put this in the comments OVER THERE?
February 15th, 2008 at 8:59 am
1. She has the stage OVER THERE today, and I hate hecklers.
B. There is no utility in debating the issue. There’s no meeting in the middle here. It’s like trying to convert someone to another political party.
***. Did you count the metaphors?
IV (or IIII, if you’re a clock face manufacturer). I’ve learned over the course of the past year that I shouldn’t come in contact with this person. If her name had been at the top of the post, I would have known better than to read it at all and could have saved myself a blood pressure spike. I know her icon now. Won’t happen again.
#@$!&. It’s not one person, it’s back once again to the pervasive attitude of discontent that I am so sick of hearing about. No one wants to consider the cause-and-effect relationship of continuous bitching as it relates to sustaining one’s state of misery. Rather than devoting my day to dwelling on something I don’t enjoy, my preference is to move on to the next thing that might work out better, and I find this attitude has created a much more positive outlook toward life in general. But talk like that invariably starts a war about how “nice” is the root of all evil (ah, not bananas after all!), and that pisses me off even more than the banana haters.
February 15th, 2008 at 9:38 am
What, not up for another round of “it’s more important to have integrity than to be nice”?
February 15th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Everybody knows “nice” is the antonym of “integrity.” It’s on the SATs. They are mutually exclusive concepts. Therefore, by extension, “asshole” must equal “integrity.”
Don’t think I haven’t noticed who has a whooooole lot of “integrity.” They’ve definitely left an impression.
There’s a silver lining, though. (That’s me—always looking on the integrityless bright side.) Once those people colonize a site, I can stop visiting and add precious minutes to my day that could be better spent on more pleasant pursuits, like a bikini wax or slamming my hand in the car door.
February 19th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I think I love you.
Just sayin’.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
I love all your bunnies/monkeys so much I want to use them all in ONE spectacularly long assed post.
But
I will refrain.
*There are people who do like bananas, regardless of how offensive you may find them.*
It keeps coming back to that.
If I keep editing-will the countdown start all over again? Must find out.
February 19th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Nope-
You can thank me later. (I’m almost there…9 more to go )
February 20th, 2008 at 4:18 am
Selah, don’t tempt me.
Eva, just to beat a dead banana into the ground, I’ve also noticed it’s the banana haters who say things like, “Quality would improve if publishers were more selective and published fewer books.” Do I have an emoticon to express my opinion of limiting everyone’s choices? Hmm, maybe a vignette…
And feel free to use the bunnymunkies with abandon. Once I figured out how to add them, I went a little crazy with the downloads. I have about 200 on my hard drive. Need to pare that down a bit, but the bunnymunkies had to go up immediately for obvious reasons!
February 20th, 2008 at 10:43 am
“Quality would improve if publishers were more selective and published fewer books.”
Seriously-what would this world be without Coke?
It would be one big boring Pepsi glutting mass of grossness. 
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
These seem to be the same people who are EXTREEEEEEMELY defensive about the entire genre, no? Very “Yes, I read romance, but don’t judge me - not ALL of it is drivel. In fact, let me tell you how empowering and uplifting romance can be, not to mention intellectually stimulating, and if only they’d quit putting out the stuff I don’t like, the entire genre would gain the respect it deserves, blah blah blah blah BLAH.”
Dude. If the people with whom you hang judge you by your escapist reading material? Get a better class of friends. Or better yet - learn not to give a shit what other people think of you. (Some of us learned that in third grade. Catch up!)
Your insecurity? Is not my problem.
February 22nd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Wow. I wrote the above before I read your comment at today’s RTB.
Spooooooky.
February 23rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
Oh, yeah, the “peer pressure” thing that everyone lives in fear of. It was about the third grade when I started thinking, “Grow a fucking spine, would you?” People kick you less often if you walk upright and make eye contact.
In my house, we don’t call it “peer pressure,” we call it “weak will” and “dodging responsibility,” and it is not a valid excuse for anything.
One of the numerous times this “people judge me because I read romance” conversation has come up, I said something about how little the opinion of some complete stranger on the subway ought to matter, and someone responded, “It’s not just strangers. It’s friends and family.” Well, speaking from personal experience, family can suck in all kinds of ways, but MY FRIENDS figure if I like something, it must be all right because MY FRIENDS like me and respect me and consider me to be at least at their own questionable level of coolness. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be MY FRIENDS.
Any book in the hand is not responsible for disrespect being heaped on a person. It’s the “Doormat for Rent” stamped on that person’s forehead. I bet that person gets “judged” for her choices at the grocery store and for her taste in music and the shoes on her feet, too.
I refuse to be intimidated by what anyone MIGHT think of me to the extent that it affects the choices I make.
Especially over a BOOK.
February 23rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Simmer down, missy. Someone might accuse you of having *gasp* personal integrity. You know…the real kind?