Kerry Allen

I… I… I’m a weirdo?

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I suspect this question refers to my fondness for Reese’s Puffs rather than Shredded Wheat, Final Fantasy rather than bridge, Artemis Fowl rather than Mr. Darcy, Deathnote rather than Dancing with the Stars, Nine Inch Nails rather than Barry Manilow, and any other preference I have expressed that indicates a penchant for what are perceived as juvenile interests. Am I not a mother, a role model, a responsible adult with a demanding job and lofty career aspirations? In other words, should I not conduct myself in a manner more befitting someone of my advanced age?

Well, I could (and have done so in the past when absolutely necessary), but denying myself these simple pleasures causes me to become stressed out and miserable, and I have never felt impressing anyone with my adultness (or their idea thereof) made that a worthwhile sacrifice. I have a driver’s license if anyone requires proof of age. A DNA test will prove I’m a mother, being stuffy isn’t a prerequisite for being a role model (I think it would be a hindrance, in fact, since I’ve yet to meet a teenager who responds favorably to that quality), I like to put as much distance as humanly possible between myself and that demanding job (at which no one has ever voiced a complaint about my personality having an adverse effect on my professionalism, and my Permanent Record has “a joy to work with” written in it many, many times—they’re not terribly original over there) at the end of the day, and my career aspirations (which aren’t really all that lofty, to be perfectly honest) are such that a little kookiness paired with a good-natured demeanor and a lack of unethical/criminal/insane/scary behavior may actually be an asset.

For some examples of the positive powers of kookiness, check out Author Talk. Don’t those videos make you want to be interviewed by Jill Monroe’s huge exquisite hair and annoying dulcet voice? I’ll let you in on a little secret—THAT is my lofty career aspiration. However, due to my aversion to cameras, I do hope I can appear in silhouette like a federal witness whose identity must be protected at all costs.

Or maybe as a sock puppet!

Edited to Add: I have it! I’m a ninja! You can’t see me! (Okay, I’m more like Waldo than a ninja, but a girl can dream…)