Jul 25 2008
Interlope, please
I have thrice recently read comments from blog lurkers who say they’re hesitant to delurk and make their first comment—not because what they have to say will cause all sorts of nastiness (those people never have a problem piping up, in my experience) but because they feel like they’re intruding on an established community and wouldn’t be welcome.
That makes me a little sad. There are exceptions, of course, but in general, the internet is ill suited to high-schoolish cliques. Nobody knows what you look like, what you’re wearing, how much money you have, what neighborhood you live in, what you drive… It’s the perfect venue to be valued entirely on the basis of what you have to say.
Often when these webflowers are finally compelled to comment, what they contribute is something profound or hilarious or informative, and I’m left wondering how many gems have been lost because they’ve needlessly felt excluded up until that point.
Truly, there is no need to drift around the edges, watching the goings-on but not taking part. The purpose of blogs is to generate discussion and reader participation. If you don’t have to be a registered member to comment, everybody’s comments are welcome. If comments aren’t welcome, that option will be turned off by the poster. If you really aren’t welcome, comments will be members-only and your request to join will be denied. If you’re really, really not welcome, posts will be unviewable unless you’re on the poster’s VIP list. (Anyone who puts that much effort into excluding people is usually a deadly bore anyway, so you’re not missing anything.)
You have to remember, the “existing community” of any blog or message board started with people leaving their first comment. If you have something to say, don’t be shy about it—here or anywhere else. You can’t be included if nobody knows you’re there, and silent = invisible on the web.
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11/25
July 25th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Oh gosh. I can’t even remember how I found this blog, and it’s entirely possible I only commented the first time because I’d had just a little too much to drink and was feeling frisky. (It’s happened before. Made some really good friends and really persistent enemies that way.)
It never even occurred to me to wonder if I’d be welcome…which on further reflection makes me wonder if I suffer from overconfidence and a really big mouth.
Oh, good. Something else to worry about at 3AM when I should be sleeping.
How’s that nasty case of Romance Cooties, btw? Any progress on a cure? (I’m trying to be patient. This is ME, being PATIENT.)
July 26th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I’m glad you staggered through, Selah, since you are a hoot.
In real life, I’m positively socially dysfunctional. I don’t think I’ve ever walked up to a stranger and struck up a conversation. Even with people I know, I usually wait for them to come to me instead of inflicting myself upon them. But there’s all this protective distance on the web. While I generally try to be careful what I say, it’s not the same degree of social inhibition.
I guess one of the things that boggles me is that if you feel like people are going to say “Go away, we don’t want you here” if you comment—obviously not someplace conducive to good times—why go to that site at all? Why not hang out somewhere with like-minded folks you have something in common with?
Then again… maybe other people enjoy being surrounded by constant negativity, in which case, they probably enjoy feeling excluded and only bitch about it to up the gross negativity quotient…
This is the type of crap that keeps me up when I should be sleeping.
And we don’t CURE romance cooties. We SPREAD them. Or we will, once I get off my ass and do… stuff. I predict I will feel relieved of a tremendous burden in 7 to 10 days and might get some energy and mental stamina back after that.
Or not. One must always keep in mind my “dismaying lack of ambition.” My unfinished projects, they are legion.
July 27th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Please keep me apprised of any new developments. I’m always up for spreadin’ ‘em.
Ahem. Yes.
July 27th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I finished the comic strip and unkinked some things like the search form and the feed button. (At least I think it’s unkinked—I never know until I see it on a different computer and a different browser.)
Now I suppose I have to quit screwing around and actually think about the practicalities…
July 29th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Oh. No.
This will be good.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I came for the snark and only lurked because I thought you were too cool for me.
Heh.
“I predict I will feel relieved of a tremendous burden in 7 to 10 days and might get some energy and mental stamina back after that.”
This sounds familiar. You have a BIG deadline approaching, er - well, announcement. I always get deadline ADD - jittery, but unable to really function.
Don’t worry. I read the excerpt you posted (PS: MOAR!!). You’re sooo golden.
And as you know, I’m already on-board as an official cooties-spreader.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Eva ~ The idea is to be Good. Prognosticating on the basis of the twisted wenches thus far on board with the Cootie-spreading notion, however, it’s not going to remain Good for long.
(Bad girls, bad girls, whatcha gonna do? Why, we’re going to spread romance cooties, silly! Assume the position!)
Gwen ~ Me. Too cool. Yuhright. I’m nerd cool, maybe mental hospital cool. Ooh yeah! I’m Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted! (With half the lips and twice the butt…)
I feel significantly better today, suggesting much of my problem has been related to caffeine withdrawal, which is resolving at this point. That, or the recent soul searching successfully resolved the conflict between “honestly, it’s an honor just to final” and “great, now my failure can be public.”
(The great joy of being a Pisces: the ability to think and feel all ways about all things at all times. It’s the only astrological sign that constitutes a psychiatric disorder in and of itself. I’m probably going to bitch about that in a couple of days, too, armed with the report my New Age pal got me. Gawd, what a depressing sheaf of paper that is…)
July 30th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Naw, it’s not the only one. Geminis can have split personalities. ;)