Oct 02 2008
First week of new part-time job
(As interpreted in C.J.-inspired list form.)
1. Angelic Daughter spoiled me.
2. Other people’s children are Monsters.
3. There’s an episode of House in which a mob guy gets control of an uncooperative child with a harsh word or two and says, “They have to believe you’ll hurt them.”
4. I have found this is an effective technique.
5. I am very good at it.
6. Because I’m *this close* to hurting somebody.
7. The useless parent in attendance.
8. Some people should not be allowed to breed.
9. Speaking of breeders, I accompanied a social worker on a home visit to follow up on a kid.
10. The kid’s mother, uncle, and grandma live in the home.
11. All are agoraphobic.
12. None of them have left the house in years.
13. Not a lot of getting out and socializing with people.
14. Take a wild guess where the kid came from?
15. Yeah. Eww to the nth power.
16. Cue banjo music.
17. But her origins were the least of her problems, so I got to call DSS.
18. The mother was like “But why?”
19. *THIS CLOSE*
20. I’ve been CPR certified since I was 16.
21. This week was the first time I’ve ever actually had to use it.
22. I’d rather not use it again, thanks, so I suggest not collapsing around me.
23. Because I’ll just stand there gawking like everybody else.
24. I asked New Boss if this was some kind of Hell Week organized to test my mettle.
25. New Boss said, “It’s never like this. You’re bad luck. Next week, I’m sending you to shadow my ex-husband.”
26. What jobs require absolutely no human interaction? ‘Cause I have had just about all the frickin’ humanity I can stand.
Loading ...
11/4
11/4
11/25
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:41 am
You don’t have a slow clap smiley. That is what I want to do.
You are a stronger woman than most, Kerry. Hands down. I will continue to do my very easy job, now.
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:59 am
I don’t know if you need a job that avoids contact with humans. I think you need a job where you get to chanel your anti-humanity emotions in a positive way.
Assassin? Ninja? Neil Diamond Impersonator? All valid options for the torture or removal of people who should never procreate. =D
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:00 am
Oh, and isn’t the list thing easy? I started using it for fun and then became addicted…
October 2nd, 2008 at 10:57 am
All of my assassinations up to now have been charitable, though, so it wouldn’t be right to start charging for the service…
I thought about “teaching” Krav Maga, but my instructor is concerned I would have ulterior motives apart from educating others. Like I’d purposely hurt people I don’t like. Where he’d get that idea, I just don’t know. Just because I laugh occasionally when I drop somebody…
October 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Well, the consensus over at RtB is that “gritty” romance is the SHIT, baby. Console yourself by pondering all the grit-tastic writing fodder in a job like that, maybe?
Um…yeah. I got nuthin.