Kerry Allen's Blog

Oct 03 2008

Oh, Rihanna.

Tag: Random silliness — Kerry Allen @ 3:00 am

Go ahead and tell people the song is “Disturbia,” but you and I know the truth:

Bom bom bee bom, bom bom buh bom bum
SCURVY LOVE!

(Theme song for Pirates 4? Oh, I think yes.)

Not quite up to the following standards of misheard lyrics, however:

Johnny Rivers’s’es’s “Secret Agent Man”

Sequined Asian man

Steve Miller Band’s “Jet Airliner”

Bingo Jed had a light on

The Clash’s “Rock the Casbah”

The sheep don’t like it
Rock the cat spa

CCR’s “Bad Moon Rising”

There’s a bathroom on the right

System of a Down’s “B.Y.O.B.”

Why do they always suck the pork?

The ubiquitous Manfred Mann’s Earth Band’s “Blinded by the Light”

Wrapped up like a douche

And the general WTFery that is any Nirvana song. (Do not even get me started. Nirvana was the Twilight of my teen years. Capisce?)

But keep striving and one of these days, you too can reach the summit of total unintelligibility.

4 Responses to “Oh, Rihanna.”

  1. C.J. Redwine is SO pretty.
    October 3rd, 2008 at 10:08 am

    Lol! Up until last year (yes, I’m 34…), I thought the line was “Bang on down Carolina”. I sang it that way once and my hubby about died of laughter. “Big ole jet airliner,” he tells me. Still can’t hear it but whatever.

    As for Nirvana. That was my highschool too. I kept trying to figure out what they were saying (I got Entertain Us! but that was it) until someone explained to me that not understanding it was the point.

    Ah.

    Not bathing and wearing a ton of hunter’s flannel was apparently the point too. Yes?

  2. Kerry Allen is SO pretty.
    October 3rd, 2008 at 11:48 am

    I didn’t mind grunge. I thought that first Pearl Jam album was kewl. When Chris Cornell wasn’t doing that nasal whine thing he likes so much, Soundgarden had some good music. My memory sucks, but there was a lot of stuff I liked coming out of that sector at the time.

    But from my very first exposure to Nirvana, I had a sucking-lemons kind of reaction, which is no mean feat for an auditory stimulus.

    And then there was the whole “kill yourself and thereafter be worshipped as a god” issue. Never understood idolatry of quitters. Millions of people have worse problems. Millions of people are addicts. Millions of people are clinically depressed. Being famous doesn’t make that a “special” condition.

    I reserve my respect for those who hit the bottom and DRAG THEMSELVES BACK UP.

    :whatev: But I’m a freak like that.

  3. C.J. Redwine is SO pretty.
    October 3rd, 2008 at 1:27 pm

    I agree. I loved Soundgarden. Chris Cornell has a new band now (the name suddenly escapes me) and I love it too. And Pearl Jam, before they became overplayed on every campus radio, was cool.

    But yeah, I don’t get worshipping someone who was too selfish to stick around for the sake of his daughter and get himself some help. I looked at his life. Looked at my own. And say, “If I can move forward, so can you.”

  4. C.J. Redwine is SO pretty.
    October 3rd, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Oh. My.

    I was runniing errands today, and I heard Disturbia for the first time. Now, mind you, I would usually instantly change the station if I heard a song like that start, but because I wanted to hear Scurvy Love, I stuck with it.

    You’re totally right. Pirates 4, here we come.

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