Kerry Allen's Love Emporium

I’m not a fan of the new WordPress login screen, which SHAKES if you enter the wrong password.

A simple “wrong password, stupid” note is sufficient, WordPress. It’s completely unnecessary to bring it to my attention in a manner that suggests I’ve made some internet-shattering faux pas.

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While watching a video of someone else playing a video game, my child stated, “I have transcended ordinary laziness. I am the messiah of laziness.”

Oh, no, dear one. I believe that title goes to the individual who had you recite a blow-by-blow account of the goings on because she was too lazy to get up to see for herself.

I win at lazy.

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I did not realize that when I post a 3-5-10,000-word story update, the whole thing gets dumped into your feed reader (I always thought it cut off at the “read more” line), which makes it a little time-consuming to scroll past if you’re not interested.

Next time, I will use the “excerpt” feature and see if that works less obnoxiously.

Good thing I back-dated when I posted those 20-something chapters of everything-I’ve-ever-written recently.

Speaking of which…

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I have a Bestest Buddy who is so concerned with recent career decisions I’ve made, she took it upon herself to contact Amazon and express those concerns in hopes that they would contact me and reassure me that I should be selling my stories, not devaluing myself by giving them away.

What my Bestest Buddy fails to realize is that I actually read every agreement I’m considering entering into and make sure I understand the terms before I agree to anything, and if I in any way question my understanding of the terms, I get in touch with the people who made them up and ask for clarification before I make any of my potentially career-destroying decisions, so that any such destruction is the result of the abject stupidity of the decision rather than an irresponsible contract violation.

Ergo, while it is indeed a contract violation to give away for free on a routine basis (as opposed to a special occasion such as a contest) any format of ebook for which there is a corresponding ebook for sale for a price on Amazon, the rights to the content remain mine to do with as I please (other than give away ebooks of it), so it really is okay for me to turn it into as many freakin’ blog posts as I want—cleared a couple months ago and confirmed again today.

But thank you, Bestest Buddy, for your concern. It makes me feel so gosh-darn important that you so often take time out of your busy life to make sure that mine is going according to plan—which it is, but you keep right on looking out for me, girl.

I originally posted Beyond the Darkening here in installments before there was really an option to sell it anywhere as an indie.

I originally posted The Nights Before Christmas here in installments as a Christmas present for blog visitors (which didn’t get finished until March, but hey, screw 12 days of Christmas—I gave you THREE WHOLE MONTHS!) before I made it available for sale.

The Heroine Academy and Pirpires have always been intended to be free blog content.

I know that a number of people who found the first two here for free bought them anyway for the convenience of having them in ebook form (one book instead of fragmented into chapters, stuck in their ereaders for portability, easier on the eyes than blog formatting, etc.).

And I know that a number of people who read the serials have asked for them in ebook form (same reasons as above) and have even expressed willingness to pay for such a thing despite the same content being available for free. (This will happen as I get to good stopping points, but it’s not in the spirit of the thing to charge for them.)

And I know that amongst the horde of writers screaming “OMG U CHEAP HAX R DEVALUING ALL WRITERS EVERYWHERE SO I CANT CHARGE $50 FOR MY WORK OF JEENYUS,” a handful of writers are giving it away free and watching sales of the price-tagged stuff climb anyway, contrary to the business principles the naysayers insist we’re supposed to believe in.

So I was thinking, while visiting my Crazy Place (actually, I’m spending so much time there lately, I’m thinking of having my mail forwarded) and twitching from the effects of one too many Pepsi Maxes, that I’d put the installments of BTD and NBC back up, put up BTBM when it’s finished, and see what happens to sales when whole stories can be read for free.

(Drown? No. Leaving a whole novel up doesn’t feel kosher, but maybe a month of a chapter a day, get it while it’s hot or go buy it if you want to read it right now? That sounds just crazy enough to suit me.)

Can I foresee all kinds of bad things happening as a result? Hey, nobody comes up with doom scenarios like I can. (Handy in writing, alternately self-defensive and crippling in real life.) I’ve been thinking on this for a couple of months now and have a list as long as my arm of reasons why this is a bad idea.

But it’s been my philosophy from the beginning of this self-publishing venture that I have nothing to lose, so it’s stupid to let fear of unpleasant outcomes that might occur stop me from trying things that might turn out positive (or even just break-even). I’m not going to learn anything by locking myself into one way of doing things.

Worst-case scenario, I’ll be able to state with authority it was a terrible idea, take it down before any more damage is done, and not repeat that particular mistake in the future.

Pursuant to the aforementioned, the Serial Index tab has been converted to the Stories & Serials Index (same URL as before, so no worries if you’ve bookmarked it), where you’ll find links to everything available to read on-site. At the bottom of every chapter, there will be an “Isn’t this hard to read online? Wouldn’t you rather buy it for your ereader?” link and a “10 Minutes to Write” button for the ereaderless or anyone else who may be inclined to throw me a buck in exchange for my services.

Or not. That’s the experiment. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m in the mood for a shiny new WordPress theme, so there may be spells during which you’ll be treated to a new layout every few minutes. Do not be alarmed!

Well, I was in the mood for a shiny new WordPress theme, but I forgot how much work is involved in making one do what I want. No theme is perfect as-is, so I know to always look at them with an eye to what can be easily changed cosmetically and functionally, but this time, with everything I thought I could work with, my reaction upon getting into the code was “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”

I’m also tacking a “10 Minutes to Write” button to the bottom of all fiction entries. This is preparatory to Crazy Plan. Do not be alarmed! This isn’t turning into a paid subscription site or anything weird like that. It is actually a “cover my ass” feature which will be necessary in the future as Crazy Plan goes into effect. Feel free to ignore it.

And speaking of fiction entries, Pirpires 7 has arrived.

NOW you can be alarmed.

ALSO, Amazon and Barnes & Noble have placed Beyond the Darkening on sale for 79¢ to match Kobo’s discount. If that 20¢ is what’s been holding you back, now is the time to buy!

I have been asked (told, actually) to put a “warning label” on my vampire-pirate serial so my unsuspecting victims can be forewarned that it’s “not realistic.”

Allow me to express my reaction via the following emoticon montage.

Um, I have to call a “personal responsibility” foul on this one, folks. Anyone expecting REALISM from something titled Pirpires of the Cacaobean: Curse of the Peanut Butter Cup has issues expectations for which I refuse to accept blame.

However, if someone more civic-minded than I were to compose such a warning for the grasp-of-the-obvious-impaired in the comments, I might scrape together a new divorced-from-reality installment or two sometime this week with a much clearer conscience…

(Just to clarify: I fully support anyone’s right to flat-out hate what I write, for any reason. It’s the demand involved in this one to which I object.)

Random.org barfed out comment #15, who is:

Image by Cool Text: Logo and Button Generator – Create Your Own

Confirmation email sent and responded to before I could get this posted, so no alternate winner will be selected. Thanks for playing, better luck next time.

I don’t know exactly when “next time” will be (relatively, I’m thinking Drown release), but expect a bigger and better grand prize then.

Try to contain yourself.